That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
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Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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