You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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