Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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