You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
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Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
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Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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