my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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