Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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