Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
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I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize