mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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