You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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