It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Damn victory sex feels great
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize