also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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