So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize