I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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