Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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