I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize