actually, I'm a sock model
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize