I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize