This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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