I want to walk on stilts...naked
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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