Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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