I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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