yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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