Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize