Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
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I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
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OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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