I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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