My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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