lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
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You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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