Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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