You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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