Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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