I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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