I must be too annoying 4 u.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize