i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
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You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
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So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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