when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize