I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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