didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
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