I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize