Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
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Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
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THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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