I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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