We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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