if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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