after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize