I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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