The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize