she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize