I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize