the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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