I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Girls should come with a carfax report
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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