You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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