Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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